A Turn For The Worse

Unfortunately, my mom has taken a turn for the worse. She had a visit with the oncologist on Tuesday and they decided it was best if she quit the Tarceva all together. It's a little too much, a little too late. Mom complains that it's making her very sick, she's having trouble sleeping (getting 2-4hrs/night) and not eating. Between her, John (my step-dad) and the oncologist, they've decided that this is the best decision for them at this time. When mom asked how much time the oncologist thought she had left, Dr. Regante stated... 2 weeks, maybe 3, maybe 4.

I know, it's heart breaking, but mom is so out of energy. She's down to 121 lbs. She doesn't sleep well at all, coughing robs her of all her energy and she has no appetite. Having a simple phone conversation seems to be almost too much for her. So I'm simply and graciously putting my life on hold here in Japan to spend all the remaining time I have with my mom. We're still praying for a miracle!

Update

So there's a lot that's gone on since the last post.....

Things have gotten worse and my mom is realizing the severity of this illness. She went to an alternative cancer doctor  (Dr. Forsythe) who prescribed a regimen of infusions and supplements and recommended taking Tarceva concurrently with the alternative regimen. 

She started with the infusions which after a few days caused her to retain fluid in her legs and on the outside of her lungs. This time it was her right lung, which has overall been healthy, but she found out (right when she sought out Dr. Forsythe because she had just had a CT Scan) that the tumors have drastically increased in size and have metastasized to the pleural lining of the right lung as well. She immediately stopped the daily infusions and went to the hospital a couple days later for a scheduled thorocentesis. They informed her that there was no longer an adequate amount of fluid that would require getting the procedure done, so spirits were high and she was sent home.

She has gone from 2ml of O2 to 4ml of O2 in the last couple of weeks, as well. Her breathing has become very shallow and she is out of breath after walking from one end of her house to the other.

Mom consented to taking the Tarceva, but was VERY nervous about it and ended up going back into the Oncologist's office to have her clarify exactly when and how to take the drug. "Once a day either 1 hour before you eat or 2 hours after you eat." This threw mom for a loop and she stressed, "When am I going to eat then, I can't go all day without eating." Again, she reiterated exactly when to take it and mom understood. So she went home and started it a couple day slater.

I think she's been on it for about a week and the only side effect so far is her face breaking out. She said it's like acne, but kind of itchy as well. My sister keeps telling me that mom is so negative and I can hear her on the phone being that way, too. It breaks my heart to hear my mom struggling and being uncomfortable and scared. Death is a crazy thing and I am seeing how unbelievably scary it can be.

Jenn is leaving tomorrow to move to North Carolina and mom is so depressed about this. She is always saying, "I hope I make it until your sister comes, and then I hope it I make it until you come back." I am showing up in 3 weeks and Jenn is coming back in 4. So Jenn sat down with mom yesterday (like she has many times before) and tried to shine some light on being positive... Telling yourself that you're going to get better, that you're going to see your daughters in 3 and 4 weeks and these are tough times right now, but you'll pull through. The Tarceva will work and make you better. Not just hoping it will work, but telling your body it WILL work and be healed.

Positive, positive, positive, that's all you can really do.